Hello again
From Salem, Ohio (Columbiana county not the other one).
As we become acquainted with the locals and they find hear of the places we have lived we get the inevitable question “Why settle here?” This is a question we can seldom answer to the locals satisfaction. Part of the answer is illustrated in the police blotter section of the Salem News.
(In the interest of saving resources and the patience of the reader I have left out the trivial.)
Frog Kissing…
I swear the following accounts are true. In the best journalistic tradition I verified both incidents through two sources. If “In vino veritas” is true, both my
Once upon a time Joe and Bubba were walking through the forest when they saw a frog. “Kiss me,” said the frog. “I will turn into a beautiful princess and/or super model and do anything you want!”
Joe picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
“Didn’t you hear what she said?” cried Bubba, “She’ll turn into a beautiful princess and/or super model and do anything you want! Kiss her, Kiss her!”
“Naw,” said Joe “At my age I‘d rather have a talking frog.”
On the links…
A golfer (not Tiger Woods but another) was teeing off when a nearby frog spoke to him.
“I’m a magic frog,” said the frog. “I can give you anything you wish for!”
Now the golfer was, of course, some what incredulous of the claims of the frog. But even though he had never having been addressed by a talking frog before he was polite. “I find that rather hard to believe,” He stated.
“No really,” insisted the frog. “I’m really a beautiful young Jewish American princess who was enchanted by an evil rock star/pusher and can only regain my svelte and girlish body through a kiss.”
“Not being a fan of amphibious osculation,” he said, “I would like a small demonstration first.”
“OK, doubting Thomas,” snarled the frog. “Hit the ball.”
The golfer teed up for the 375 yard dog leg and hit the ball. It arced into the air and dropped directly into the hole without a bounce. After several more miraculous shots he asked, “What else can you do for me?”
“Try me,” smirked the frog.
“Take me to Las Vegas”, he commanded.
Instantly they were transported to the penthouse of Caesar’s Palace.
“Now we are going downstairs and clean this place out!” He cried happily.
“Aren’t you forgetting something,” she asked archly?
The exuberant golfer picked up the frog and puckered up and…”
“And Officer, I swear that’s how a naked sixteen year old girl ended up in my hotel room!””
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From the Dr’s desk
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Meanwhile, back in beautiful downtown Salem…
The Gospel of Joe
There is a type of girl who, while incapable of cleaning her bedroom even at knife point, will fight for the privilege of being allowed to spend the day shoveling manure in a stable. It is a magic that hadn’t rubbed off on everyone.
I have nothing against horses but can’t fathom all the snaffles, bridles and fetlocks business. I can’t see why equines have to be measured in “hands” when there are perfectly sensible inches around to do the job. Having watched the Jodhpur clad girls (often blond) who bustle around the stables I have determined this is caused by their inability to understand complicated machines like rulers.
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